Is it possible to set up an account with a password that only someone else and myself would know? If both of my parents know my name, birthdate, and social security number, then can't either of them access my account and do whatever they want with the money in my account?
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Your bank should allow you to secure the access to your bank account behind something much stronger than your personal ID information. Your bank's online banking system may require that you use some or all of that information to set up online access in the beginning, but should give you an opportunity to select a password of your own -- in fact, the bank should insist upon it.
If you select a strong password, you and whomever you share this with should be the only persons who can access your account. Choose a password that won't be readily guessed by someone who knows you or finds your wallet. It should be a mix of numerals and letters.
The only exception to the above would be a case in which you are a minor and in a state that permits a parent to effectively assume control of a minor child's account. If you are 18 or older, you shouldn't need to even take the time to find out if your state is one of the few that has such a provision.
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Your bank should allow you to secure the access to your bank account behind something much stronger than your personal ID information. Your bank's online banking system may require that you use some or all of that information to set up online access in the beginning, but should give you an opportunity to select a password of your own -- in fact, the bank should insist upon it.