A higher rate in default is not uncommon.
Yes, you should be able to negotiate a right to cure. 30 days isn't unreasonable from what I have seen, but I don't know about your particular bank.
As far as disclosing commercial loans in advance, there are no federal regulations that require commecial loans to be disclosed like consumer loans are.
You may get some of your deposit back, but any charges paid to third parties, such as the appraisal, are probably not going to be refunded. And banks vary on whether they will refund fees for their time spent in preparing the loan as well.
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Hello, triple a? I got locked out of my mind...